Matt and Kim: Heroes of New Sincerity

Okay, so there's this phenomenon known as "New Sincerity."

Basically, New Sincerity thumbs its nose at postmodern cynicism. It's an oversimplified explanation, but it'll do. Most notably, New Sincerity has been linked to Jesse Thorn's show The Sound of Young America. Heroes of the New Sincerity include Dolly Parton, Willie Nelson, and Shaq.

I went to see the band Matt and Kim last night, and walked away believing that they, too, could be considered Heroes of the New Sincerity. Two musicians from Brooklyn, Matt and Kim seemed to be having the time of their lives as they danced, handclapped, and crowd surfed their way through their hour-long set.

If you've heard the Bacardi ad that features the song 'Daylight,' you've heard Matt and Kim. And though their second album is way more polished than their first, the song clip in the ad gives you the basic idea of who they are.

The set was tight and featured a ton of songs while, at the same time, making room for banter that rivals that of Banter Queens Tegan and Sara. Highlights included the aforementioned Daylight as well as Kim singing on Lessons Learned, a song they debuted at last night's show.

The band seemed genuinely overwhelmed that they had such a large crowd (300+) show up for the show. They made every effort to keep it clean for the kidlets in the audience (as an aside: who takes elementary aged kids to an all-ages show on a school night? Matt and Kim didn't even go on until 10!) and they put themselves on risers on the stage so that people in the back of the club could see them.

The show ended with an impromptu dance party and the band sticking around to take pictures with the horde of starstruck fans.

At first, I couldn't imagine that Matt and Kim were sincere. They were so...happy. And energetic. I was sure this was an indie rock joke that I just didn't get. I was sure that they were jaded hipsters who would reveal their true selves before the set was over. The thing is, as the set went on I grew more confident that they really were sincere. They just really love playing music and they love the fans who come to their show.

So, in conclusion, Matt and Kim are awesome. And heroes of the New Sincerity.

Flipping the script

One of my friends is feeling frustrated about something in her life. She is feeling this intense feeling of being stuck in a situation that she doesn't like and isn't sure how to change it.

Before we go any further, this isn't one of those stories where "My friend is" is actually code for "I am."

She wrote an email to a group of her friends that laid out all of things about this situation that frustrate her. Then she wrote another email that flipped the script, so to speak, and set out some short term (1-2 years) and long term (2-4 years) goals as well as what she ultimately wanted the situation to look like.

I was struck by how simple this re-framing was and yet how brilliant.

How often do I feel like a situation is both sucktastic and beyond my control? A lot. How often do I see how a situation can be changed and what I can do to change it? Not often.

As a related matter, in a meeting yesterday, a colleague spoke at length about "outcomes assessment" in which she discussed the concept of writing outcomes.

Outcomes, she stated, are desired changes in behavior, attitude, or skills.

The formula she presented for writing an outcome:

Verb/action phrase + "in order to" + Why = Outcome

An example:
Complete couch to 5K program in order to successfully run 3 miles.

So what do these two ideas have to do with one another?

I sometimes feel like I choose to believe that a situation is beyond my control instead of looking for ways I can change it. The next time I feel frustrated at how stuck I feel, I need to stop and consider what I want the situation to ultimately look like (using my handy-dandy outcome-writing skill) and then set short and long-term goals to get from where I am now to where I want to be.

What do you wish was different? How can you work to change it?

Concert review: BTE at the Pageant

I was nineteen the first time I saw Better Than Ezra. I was a sophomore in college and they were touring behind How does your garden grow. It was an epic show that ended with them playing an acoustic set in the parking lot because the sound in the venue was terrible. I feel in love with Kevin, Tom, and Travis and have been a BTE junkie ever since.

On Saturday night, I saw Better Than Ezra for the ninth time at the Pageant. Nine times of seeing one band over eleven years seems staggering, right?

The long and short of it is, I'm not as young as I used to be. And, honestly, neither is BTE.

The biggest change to the band is new drummer, Michael Jerome, who made his StL debut on Saturday night. Travis McNabb, the band's long-time drummer, left the band to tour with Sugarland. Jerome, who certainly has mad drumming skillz, brings a different flavor to the band. McNabb's larger-than-life persona and tendency toward the flashy were replaced by Jerome's understatedness. In my mind, it moved BTE from feeling like a trio toward feeling like a duo with a touring keyboardist and drummer.

The band opened with Turn on the bright lights, the hallmark of how far the band has come in the 20 years they've been making music. A mid-tempo rock song, Turn on the bright lights is a 'nothing special' kind of tune that gets new life breathed into it when played live. For whatever you can say about how lame Better Than Ezra has become, you can hardly question their skills at playing live. They have the audience in the palm of their collective hand from the first note to the last chord.

The first three songs featured a very distracted Kevin. He was having problems with the amp, and he flat out didn't sing about 1/3 of Misunderstood. I would've preferred that they stop the show for a minute rather than this half-assed attempt to keep the show going despite technical difficulties.

The band finally got its act together and played an impressive show filled with songs from Paper Empire, some older hits, and some quirky covers. I would've preferred more songs from How does your garden grow and Closer, but a die hard fan always leaves wanting more, right?

All in all, BTE has lost a half-step over the past few years, but proved they can still get a crowd up and moving.

Set list:
Turn on the bright lights
Good
Misunderstood
All in
Extraordinary feat. Sexy Back (cover--Justin Timberlake)
Absolutely still
King of New Orleans
Sincerely Me
Get you in
Live again
Boom boom pow interlude feat. Michael Jerome's drumming
Nightclubbing
Laid (cover--James song)
Juicy feat. Miss You (cover--Rolling Stones)
Desperately wanting

Encore 1 (just Kevin--acoustic):
Jolene (cover--Ray LaMontagne)
Porcelain

Encore 2 (entire band):
Just one day
Let my love open the door (cover--Pete Townsend)
In the blood feat. Song 2 (cover--Blur)

When it's time to change...

This one comes straight out of the 'keeping it real' file.

I did South Beach Diet for a while, but it's safe to assume I've fallen off that wagon.

I got tired of eating (and not eating) the same things all the time and I kept justifying my sneaks and treats. And, honestly, I bent the rules until they broke.

I'm not gaining any more weight, but I'm also not losing.

So, I figure I have two options:

1)Abandon SBD altogether and adhere strictly to a restricted-calorie diet.
2) Get back on the SBD wagon, starting with a 2-week Phase I "detox."

I'm trying to weigh my options pretty carefully (no pun intended).

I heard myself telling someone today that my change in lifestyle is about making choices and giving some things up to have other things. But I'm realistically starting to wonder what I'm giving up of late. It seems, more and more, like I've been justifying things more than giving them up.

As I see myself settling into a weight that is significantly higher than my goal weight, I know things have to change.

No. 3: A portrait of the artist as a young man by James Joyce

James Joyce's kinda sorta autobiography-disguided-as-a-novel comes in on our charts at number 3.

Stephen Dedalus wants to be an artist, but there's one BIG thing standing in his way: he's Catholic. And it's hard, in early 20th century Ireland, to be both Catholic and an artist. But Stephen? He's gonna make it after all.

This novel is told in 5 vignettes that stand together as a loosely linear narrative. My favorite vignette by far was the one where Stephen hears a hellfire-and-brimstone sermon and decides to repent of all his sins including but not limited to prostitute patronage.

I realize this all comes off as super glib, but I only kind of mean it that way. Because, while Portrait might be influential in the 20th century, there are far "better" books on this list. Or, perhaps, books I liked better.

The Modern Library Top 100 challenge

On the eve of my 30th birthday, I decided to start reading (or, in some cases, re-reading) the Top 100 novels of the 20th century as determined by the board of the Modern Library.

I'm not sure what prompted me to do this other than the fact that I have not read a lot of the classics. The idea of reading 20th century classics seemed appealing to me.

I usually don't break 50 novels a year, so I figure it'll take the first two years of my 30s to read all of these books.

I'm going to post my thoughts on each novel I read as well as keep track of what I've read in the sidebar.

You, yes you...

We are fixed
We are fixed
We are fixed right where we stand
--The view, Modest Mouse

I have lost 30 pounds in the last 9 months. I've also gained a lot of perspective on how little power we, as people, think we have.

Today, someone who hadn't seen me since April said "you've lost a lot of weight. You look great."

My initial reaction was to think about how to deflect that compliment.

I'm not at my goal weight. I haven't been eating the way I should lately. I haven't been running as often as I should lately. And I've been in the 150s since March.

Instead, as if outside of my own body, I said "Thanks! I've lost 30 pounds since September."

The person's reply? "I wish I could do that."

I immediately said, "if I can do it, you can too. I'm not doing anything special. I'm just eating less and exercising more."

If someone had said this to me ten months ago, I wouldn't have believed them. 'It's too hard to change habits,' I would've thought, 'and I totally don't have that kind of willpower.'

There are a lot of legitimate things that stand in people's ways. I get that.

But can I tell you a secret?

90% of the time, you do have what it takes to make the change in your life you're longing to make.

I was a couch potato; now I'm a runner. But it didn't happen overnight. I started and quit Couch to 5K more times than I can count before it stuck.

I used to be an emotional eater...and still am. But I've found some non-eating coping mechanisms that work for me, so I'm less likely to reach for a box of cereal when I'm sad/bored/lonely.

I used to eat whatever I wanted with no regard for portion sizes; now I measure my portion of cereal and make choices about what I'm willing to not eat (hello, croutons!) in exchange for what I refuse to give up (hello, red velvet cupcakes!).

The point is, you (yes...you) have everything you need inside of you to be the person you want to be.

Exchange my weight loss for the one thing in your life that you wish was different. And know it's true when I say, "if I can do it, you can too."

Love,
Mrs. Dude