In which we discuss 'For the Love of Ray J,' Tom Green, and Warren G.

Last night I was watching this week's episode of 'For the Love of Ray J.'

This might be a good time to tell you that I'm a sucker for almost any VH1 reality show.

I'm not proud of that. But true is true, my friends.

I like Ray J. Okay, yeah, he's the Kim-Kardashian-sex-tape guy, but everyone makes youthful mistakes, right? I want him to find love. And, since this week was "meet the folks" week, so do Ray's friends, family, and entourage.

Anyway, after Ray J. introduces the moneygrubbing whores, er contestants, to his grandma, Ray J. takes them to meet his entourage. Or, as he calls them, his "homies."

As an aside, it was funny to see how quickly the ladies put some clothes on when it was time to meet grandma. I think they had more clothes on at lunch than they'd worn during the rest of the show.

It was as if they thought that Grammy Norwood was actually judging whether or not they would make good wives for her grandson. After lunch, though, she proved to be no help at all when she basically said that Ray J would have to make his own choice.

I suspect if Slutty, Crazy, and Manipulative had known Grammy wasn't paying any attention them, they wouldn't have wasted the time covering up.

Or, in Manipulative's case, putting a bra on.

As another aside, why doesn't Manipulative wear a bra? Doesn't that wear on her back?

Okay...back to the entourage. And the meat of this rambling, rambling post.

Apparently Ray J. counts both Warren G. and Tom Green as members of his Inner Circle.

Take that in for a minute.

Warren G. and Tom Green.

What in the world could the three of them possibly have in common? Can you even imagine how hilarious it is when they all hang out?

I feel like VH1 missed an excellent opportunity when it chose to give Ray J. a Rock of Love/Flavor of Love-style dating show.

Someone was clearly dozing off during that pitch meeting.

Because, honestly, wouldn't you rather see a show where Warren G., Tom Green, and Ray J. have awesome adventures together?

One episode they could go out to lunch and the next they could, I don't know, go sky diving or something.

I feel like someone at VH1 missed something here...

Stuff I used to like: Top Chef

During Seasons 1 and 2 of Top Chef, I was a rabid fan (Team Harold! Team Marcel!). Now? Eh, not so much.

It used to be a novel idea: make people cook stuff in various situations and then eliminate them based on whose food is the worst.

Top Chef introduced the world to Katie Lee Joel and then to Padma Lakshmi. I'm not sure why producers thought Padma would be a better fit for the show than Katie was. They're both different shades of uninteresting and uninspiring.

Chef Tom seemed irritated after the suggestions by the Season One audience that he should be more like Tim Gunn. I watch Project Runway and love Tim Gunn. Chef Tom is no Tim Gunn. And, as if he knows this about himself, he says in the Season Two opener that he isn't there to mentor these kids.

Also? When did Chef Tom start trying to be like Anthony Bourdain? One Bourdain is enough, thank you very much.

Also? Every season these contestants seem confused as to what's going on. I was trying to catch up on Season Three and there was a team challenge episode. I love team challenge episodes because they up the drama factor. Remember 'I'm not your bitch, bitch'? Yeah, that was a team challenge. Anyway, during this challenge all of the contestants seemed confused about the idea of a team challenge. Guys, did you not see any of Season Two? No? Any of Season One, then? This is how it always goes.

One upside to Top Chef this season, though, is more Ted Allen. Ted Allen is awesome. He's all snarky and sweet and he makes me want to have him over for dinner until I remember that I watch Top Chef because I can't cook. He could be all Tim Gunn with these kids, but he's not. Instead we get Anthony Bourdain's 'what's your major malfunction' line. Again. Dude, didn't you say that about Mikey last year when he made that monochromatic plate of sides? That, by the way, was genius. I love corn and potatoes so screw the modern convention that food can't be monochromatic.

Anyway, I used to love Top Chef. And now I don't. I mean, it's okay, but it's nowhere near the glory days of Tiffany snarking at Dave or Cliff holding Marcel down and trying to shave his head.