Music for running

I am constantly trying to craft the best playlist to run to. See...I don't like running very much.

Well, that's not entirely true.

I do enjoy the feeling of accomplishment I feel when I finish and run. And I like how running makes the numbers on the scale get smaller.

But when I run, I get bored. I am not one of those people who goes to some blissful, zen place when they run. I don't think through problems. I don't think *anything* beyond how quickly I want to be done running.

So I need music that is both upbeat and lyrically interesting so that I distract myself from how bored I am and focus on being in the moment.

My newest playlist:
Lisztomania--Phoenix
Daylight--Matt&Kim
Absolutely Still--BTE
Little Secrets--Passion Pit
Yeah Yeah--Matt&Kim
Sick Muse--Metric
Satellite Skin--Modest Mouse
Lasso--Phoenix
Good Ol'Fashioned Nightmare--Matt&Kim
Gold Guns Girls--Metric
Golden Age--TV on the Radio
Off That--Jay-Z feat. Jimmy (well..Drake--I refuse to call him that, though)
All in--BTE

I am going to take this for a test drive tonight and see how it works.

Mrs. Dude and the shame-induced pity party

I've been having a rough week. The "exercise and eating well" wagon are nowhere to be seen and I'm laying in the dust having a big, fat pity party.


So you know where I'm coming from, I've been on South Beach Diet (from this point forward referred to as "SBD") since September. Between following a regimented eating plan and exercising, I've lost 26 pounds.

But the past few weeks have seen me heading down a path where I'm just not sticking to my eating or my exercise. I've excused away some pretty half-hearted workouts and some off-plan snacks.

I'm at this weird place right now where I'm just ready to be done with it. Not to be at my goal weight, but ready to quit. Ready to stop watching what I eat and to stop going to the gym.

I feel really unmotivated. I know that if I want to succeed, my choice to follow SBD can't be a "diet," even though its name has the word "Diet" in its name. I have to be willing to accept that my choice is one to change my lifestyle and to agree to respect myself enough to stop putting crap in my body.

While were here, I also know that an active lifestyle won't stop for me when I reach a magic number. I fell in love with running. Yeah, it's hard, but it makes me feel good and strong and powerful.

So what's the deal?

I know it's probably all of the junk I've been eating over the past few days talking, but I just want to lay on my couch, eat cupcakes, and watch the newest 'Real World/Road Rules' challenge until my brain melts.

I was trying to hold all of these icky feelings inside. I was pretending that everything was okay while trying to convince myself that I could force myself back on track.

You ever have that moment? You know, the one where you just know you can will yourself to get your act together while, at the same pretending like you never had a moment while you're act wasn't together?

It's exhausting. And the shame of not having it all together and wanting to quit was weighing me down.


Why aren't I good enough to stick with it? What's wrong with me that I'm so weak?


The shame of not being perfect had me in its grips.

I was better, more together, more dedicated I could stick with it. I wanted this bad enough I wouldn't feel so frustrated.

You ever been there?

I decided enough is enough. I was done wallowing in my shame. I told a few of my friends how frustrated I am, and verbalizing that frustration robbed shame of its power over me.

My friends gave me the good advice and accountability I needed. Just saying the words, 'this is really frustrating' felt empowering. Acknowledging that I am nowhere near perfect and that shame was keeping me from doing what I knew what right meant more to me than any run or day of healthy eating ever could.

The "exercise and eating well" wagon is still out-of-sight, but I've picked myself off the ground.

The first step is throwing out all of the leftover junk that has creeped into my house. The second is making some good-for-me food. The third step is getting back into the gym by the week's end. I will run at least a mile--not because I have to do it, but because it brings me joy.

In which Mrs. Dude discusses exercise

I hate "working out." I have never been athletically inclined, and I'm clumsy. Moreover, I would rather read a book or watch TV than go to the gym or play sports.

I like walking MollyB, my dog, but I feel like that doesn't count. I can't not walk her. I mean, I could, but I don't want to end up on an episode of Animal Cops or anything.

I am in the process of trying to lose weight though exercise and eating well. As a result, I go out to eat less and cook and exercise more.

To fulfill the "exercise" part of the plan, I choose to go to a gym.

I sometimes feel bad about it, since I could save money and just go running in my neighborhood instead of going to the gym and jogging on a treadmill.

Remember how I told you I would rather watch TV than exercise?

My dirty secret is that all of the cardio equipment in the gym I go to has TVs attached to them. And the TVs all have cable.

It feels sort of strange to go to the gym and watch TV. But it's the only way I can motivate my lazy self to exercise.

So 3 times per week I go to the gym, plug into a TV, and jog.

I've been doing the Couch to 5K program. It's a 9-week program, but I've been working on it for a year. I guess that tells you everything you need to know about my level of commitment.

I recently switched to exercising in the morning. My gym is overrun in the evening and I hate waiting to use a treadmill. It makes me not want to exercise, and I have a hard enough time getting to the gym without this extra layer of soul crushing complication.

It turns out that the majority of people who go to my gym don't want to get up early to work out. The place is dead in the morning--even less busy than when I've been there on a Friday night. It tells you something when more people would rather work out on a Friday night than get up early, right?

The moral of my story is this: if I can get up early and exercise, you can fit 30 minutes of physical activity into your day. Park far away from the store you're shopping in. Go for a walk with your dog or your kids or, alternately, to get away from your dog or your kids. Find a trail and go for a ride on your bike. Start a recreational kickball team. Go dancing.

Joining a gym isn't necessary to be successful. You might want to do it, but you don't have to.

Just choose to be active.